Seeds of hope: Restorative practices and Nonviolent communication

By Toni Lyubenova

There is a moment in almost every group when a difficult situation comes. A conflict. Someone feels excluded. There is a disagreement that is now allowed to be spoken.. The instinct trained into most of us since childhood is to look for who’s at fault and what the consequence should be. Ask a different question, though, and everything changes: what does this situation need in order to be repaired?

That question is the seed of restorative practice, and it’s the same question at the heart of Nonviolent Communication (NVC). It’s also the question that brought Creatosphere into a partnership with KALM International Trainings for a training taking place at the end of August into the beginning of September, bringing together Aleksandra (Ola) Gołaszewska – a certified CNVC trainer – Marija Cirule, and myself as co-trainers.

Why restorative circles, and why now

Restorative circles appeared naturally from communities – Indigenous justice traditions, teachers tired of watching punitive systems fail kids, youth workers who noticed that punishment doesn’t show anyone how to repair a friendship. A circle is quite simple: people sit facing each other with a talking piece, and everyone gets uninterrupted space to speak and be heard. No one is above the circle. No one is graded, judged, or ranked by who “explains themselves better.” The structure itself does the work that no amount of lecturing about “conflict resolution” ever could.

In facilitation specifically, this matters. In their everyday life, people are constantly on the receiving end of judgment – about their choices, their tone, their “attitude.” A restorative circle flips that dynamic and says that your experience is a valid input and not something to be managed – a problem. For many young people, this is the first time an adult has asked what they need rather than what they did wrong.

Where NVC comes in restorative circles

Restorative circles give the container, NVC gives the language to use inside it.

Nonviolent Communication, developed by Marshall Rosenberg,  is about a way of speaking and listening based on the needs – with the belief that everything we say or do comes from a need that is either met, or unmet. It separates observation from evaluation, feeling from thought, and need from strategy. It sounds almost technical when you write it out like that – but in practice, it’s the difference between “you always ignore me” and “when I didn’t hear back from you, I felt hurt because I need to feel like I matter in this group.” One sentence makes people defensive. The other invites connection.

When you bring NVC into a restorative circle, you get a room of people who are actually building the emotional vocabulary to be heard and to hear others without going into blame. 

We’ll be working alongside Aleksandra (Ola) Gołaszewska, a CNVC-certified trainer whose depth in Nonviolent Communication brings nuance to how we talk about needs, empathy, and self-connection as practical competencies. Marija Cirule joins as co-trainer, bringing her own experience with NVC. I’ll be stepping in as a trainer as well, bringing what I’ve learned through my experience in facilitation.

What we hope people leave with

What we hope participants leave with is a felt sense of what it’s like to be genuinely heard in a group – and the confidence to build that experience for others. Youth workers carry a huge amount of responsibility for holding space. Inviting them to try out restorative structures and NVC language isn’t a different toolkit, but sort of the missing piece that makes everything else – mediation, facilitation and group work actually land.

If you’re a youth worker, facilitator, or educator curious about where restorative practice and NVC combine, keep an eye out for details on this training. Creatosphere will be sharing more after!